Showing posts with label FUNNY STORY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FUNNY STORY. Show all posts

Thursday, August 22, 2013

the story of our house, before& current exterior pics

This is the story of Lemony Snicket's and a series of unfortunate events.

  I was about half way through my first year of teaching I got pregnant with Audrey.  I am not a daycare person.  I can not let them have my baby or trust them to care for them like I would...I can let go a little when they are bigger, but they are mine when they are wee babes.  I nurse them and have no desire to pump.  Because of this, Mr. TSL and I decided I would stay home until baby was around 2 and we would have to move near where he got a new job.  Moving whilst pregnant, plus in July/August is awesome. Awesome.  Not to mention she was born in September, so I was that pregnant.

Moving on.  I get long winded.  This is a hell of a story though.  You'll be like no freakin' way a lot, but yes way.

We found a house in late June, it wasn't what we wanted, but it was acceptable.  I could work with it and it had enough space outside and in the garage for MR. TSL.  I just didn't like it.  He was sold.  I was not.  It was the only house near his school district that wasn't total crap and in our price range.

It was at the high end of our price range.  So, we undercut them by a lot hoping to settle in the middle.  We settled and I wasn't happy, but it was again, okay.  I was already redoing things in my head and rearranging things.  Planning family stuff in my head, etc.

This is where it gets shitty, literally.  The older couple we were buying the house from were the loveliest people.  They were so nice and genuinely nice people.  Which was great!  We paid for a bunch of inspections and decided what we would have them fix/fix ourselves.  When we got the report back from the well.  The septic had been leaking into the well. They must have known something was up-ish (suspected it enough to know not to drink the well water.)  We went to visit after signing the contract and the older lady told me not to drink the water and handed a very very pregnant me a bottle of water.

This was the beginning of a rolling ball of bullshit.  They had to put in a new septic system on their dime (like $10k)  They wanted to cheap out and get the smallest system, perfect for an elderly couple, not for a family with 4 girls and a dad.  They wanted us to pay the difference for the upgrade, I wasn't having it.  We had some in savings, but I didn't want to blow it on fixing their shitter.  Awesome.

At this point, I was out.  Mr. TSL still in.  Then we visit again, while they are having the septic fixer survey.  Mr. TSL even helped dig some of the holes, while the elderly lady insisted I sit in the shade with water (well over 100 degrees outside).

Then the  surveyor said it, they would have to put in a mound system.  Basically a tank above ground to fill with our nasties and such.  It would be covered with a thin layer of dirt and sod.  It was going in right where we had plans to put up a large shop, taking a huge amount of our yard.  Plus, they would have to cut all the fruit trees down to install it.  I darted Mr. TSL a look and he knew we were super out.  Plus, we had pissed a few hundred dollars in inspections right out the window.  Suckola.

We went to have a meeting with their Realtor.  They were trying to get us to buy the property next to the place to put a shop for an extra $25,000.  I said nope, we don't have/aren't spending more money on that place.  They just kept pushing.  Mr. TSL is very nice and has a hard time letting people down...not me, oh no, no problem at all.  She just kept trying to convince us.  I looked right at her and said, "I am not buying that house, go get my $500 earnest money.  Thank you."

This sucked.  Like big fat donkey balls.  We were now sort of homeless.  We were sleeping at Mr. TSL's parents.  It's small for them and tiny with the 4 of us, me pregnant and our dog....did I mention Harley had 6 new puppies.  Yep. Puppies. Our stuff was on trailers at families houses.

Then my mom emailed me a house from Craigslist.  It had no pics, a small description and a super cheap price tag.  I figured it was crap, but worth a look.  I called and talked to the man.  He was very nice.  He had built the house and his kids had stayed with him while he had custody, then he told me they where they went to high school.  My high school, weird because his place was 45 min from there and near a lake.  Ironically enough his son had been in my class and his older son had been in my mom's 7th grade math class.  He called his son and he sang my mother's praises.  She really is phenomenal!  :)  He said that we must be good people and if we wanted it after we came to look, it was ours.

We drove out to check it out.  (In this time span, Mr. TSL turned 30 and needed a new license, they wouldn't let him renew because we had no proof of address, except at our old house-3 hours away...expired license by 2 days)  He got a ticket.  Bad. Crap.

We got to the house and the skies opened. Thank God!  It was great and priced around $50,000 under what it was worth in it's current state.   We'll take it.  Since their were no realtors, no fees. Awesome.  Still had to pay all the inspections again, but that's okay. But, we could close in a week, we thought.

We went about 4 more days and I couldn't sleep on a freaking air mattress any more.   We took some money from savings and stayed at a hotel for a week.  It sucked.  Mr. TSL had started work and was driving from our hotel 25 minutes to work with both kids.  Me in a hotel all day with the dog and 6 puppies. Blah.

It gets worse, so much worse.

Like I said above, our stuff was everywhere.  My brother's, his brother's.  He started school and on his first day his truck, that he spent the entire summer and a lot of time before building, to be exactly what he wanted was stolen.  By meth head fuckers, stolen.  It threw everything into a tailspin.  They walked onto his brother's property, broke in and stole it.  Broad daylight.  Assholes.  Mr. TSL was cracked.

I told the owner of the house he said he was sorry and that he would pray for us.  I will never understand how much it crushed Mr. TSL, he had poured so much time into that truck and had only driven it 25 miles and onto the car hauler to bring it here...it was gone.

 We drove around like crazy in shitty areas of town, looking for it, his brothers drove around looking for it.  We chased down leads and nothing.  We were out one day looking for it on some dirt roads and I thought I saw it parked in the trees.  I yelled to back up and he slammed my Jeep in reverse and a huge truck rear-ended us.  We had both kids, huge pregnant me, our dog and all 6 puppies in the car.  FUCK FUCK FUCK.  The girl was going to beat Mr. TSL (she was a big girl) and then she saw me a started freaking out to see if I was okay.  I was fine, just crying from the shock.  (It was a minivan by the way, not his truck)

This is sucked. Super sucked.  While we were waiting for the police, we got all the puppies out and everyone had a puppy :)  The owner of the house called to tell me their was a problem and we couldn't close in a week.  When he called I was still crying and hyperventilating from everything and he told me we could just move in.  He said he'd be up that weekend to move stuff out of it and to help us move our things in.

Yep, all that shit and then he says we can move in, no rent, haven't closed, he'll help.  We moved in 1 week before I had Audrey  1 week.  We didn't even end up closing until December, so we had no house payment or rent for 4 months.  It was lovely.

Mr. TSL's truck was torn apart and taken to a salvage yard and anything that was worth money was sold or they still have.  That still sucks for us.  But, we got the house.


Outside Pictures










1. I have painted the railing and garage door Dusty Mountain Gray.  
2.  I planted the front garden full of flowers and random plants.
3. We also put new outdoor lights. 
4. I also repainted a vintage mailbox and Mr. TSL hung it and a chalkboard for me on the porch.  The mailbox has sidewalk chalk in it for the kids to play with on the porch.  I would give you a close up of those, but we need to power wash the house again because of the enormous amounts of spiderwebs.  


It's been 3 adventurous years and I have done a ton of projects around here and have many more planned!

xoxo,

Friday, July 13, 2012

Master Bathroom: Part 2 Slate Floor

We ripped out the nasty linoleum here and have been slowly working on the slate floor that is finally complete!  Apparently when you only work when the baby is sleeping it takes forever for anything to get completed.  It's also a huge pain when you are 7 month preggo because my freaking brain doesn't work!!!

It's actually been finished for about a week....I'm a little slow on the posting, so sue me. No don't, well you won't get anything.



Isn't it spectacular?!?!  I stinking love it!  I keep walking in there and sitting to stare at it :) I even spruced up the air conditioning vent with a little ORB spray paint...looks brand new!

I painted the walls white where the board and batten will go!  We've also redone the vanity and are hoping to be done in the next week or so!


Now for a little story and this one is not about a man named Jed.  {you know your singing the song now :) }

Last Friday, I had a doctor's appointment for a pg checkup.  Not only do I get to rock the Gestational Diabetes train, but I also have to drive 45 min to get to my doctor's office.
Anywho, last Friday was Hayley's 8th birthday!

Here is how my plan for the day was suppose to go:

8:40-Leave House
9:30-Doctor Appointment
10:15ish-Pick up Hayley's other presents
11:30ish-Get Home make her cupcakes, play with the kids, finish picking up the house
1:00-3:00 -Audrey takes a nap
3:00-Hayley's friend comes over and we go swimming at the YMCA Water Park
6:00-The kids make mini pizzas and we have cupcakes.

 Much like everything I have planned when in a time crunch, it went to Hell in a hand basket!
How the day actually went:
8:40-Leave House

9:15- arrive at doctor, receptionist looks confused and tells me I'm early...I said yep, like 15 min.  You see, the doctor was booked that day and I had been double booked over another patient because he wanted me to come in and was on vacation this week.  I sit down in the waiting room and the nurse calls my name.  I start to stand up and he explains that the doctor doesn't have a patient until 9:50 and my appointment isn't until 10:10....shit I have to wait almost a freakin hour....I could totally use the sleep.

10:00-Doctor walks into my room and says oops, I have someone before you and starts to leave....I say are you freaking kidding me and explain that I have been waiting to see him for almost an hour and all he has to do is measure me. (I am measuring 2 weeks ahead, this is normal for someone with Gest. Diabetes.  They still have to make sure my little gentleman nugget isn't going to try to burst through my lady biz weighing 20lbs....)  He says well I can do that really quick....still too big, so now I need to schedule a sono to make sure the tiny monkey hasn't morphed into a giant gorilla baby!

10:20- driving to pick up Hayley's gift....when I hear thud, thud, thud....I've blown a mother fuzzing tire, son of a bitch!  We drove over a huge metal thing like a month ago and got all new tires then!  Damn, I pull over and it's not blown, just popped by a board with 3 nails in it.  Two of those nails are in my tire. Shit!  I pull the board out and the tire is immediately making a fizzing noise letting the air out.  I put my fingers over the holes.  What the hell am I going to do stand there with my fingers holding in the air...yep that sounds logical!  I let them go and quickly drive across the street to the gas station and call Mr. TSL.  He can't come help me because I am 50 minutes from home and I have the carseat.  Oops.  He calls my super awesome brother-in-law, who comes over assesses the situation fills the tire and Mr. TSL has found a place to fix it across the street for $17.  Awesome, we drive over there and they say it will take 20 minutes to patch the tire....they did not, however, mention that the wait to fix it was 2 hours.  At least it was clean and air conditioned!

Almost 1pm-  I finally make it to pick up Hayley's gifts.
Driving home, I come across 2 huge accidents and silently pray that I know I was having a crappy day, but to get me home safe and I will forget it all happened!

Mr. TSL has just laid Audrey down for a nap around 2 and I can hear her shouting because she knows I'm home....no nap for her.  Crap.  I needed some peace and quiet.  Not happening.  Mr. TSL and I make the cupcakes and put them in the oven, Hayley's friend shows up, I tell her mom how my day is going and she laughs and says I ought to just climb back in bed!  I wish....the day is going to get worse first!

Yep, I said worse.  About a month and a half ago I kicked my toe really hard...like, the toe nail is going to eventually come off, hard.  I am eating strawberries at the bar in the kitchen and sitting on the stool talking to Mr. TSL.  I drop a strawberry which is not uncommon for me, I go to jump down to retrieve said strawberry and kick the bad tow on the rail of the stool.  I instantly knew it was bad, I grab it and it is bleeding, I have ripped it loose....shit it hurts.  Mr. TSL is helping with the pain by making this obnoxious vomiting noises which is making me laugh.  Hayley and her friend start screaming that part of my bloody toe is on the kitchen floor....it's the strawberry I dropped...also funny!  I finally pull my hand off the toe and it looks really weird...like I cut the skin, then it dawns on me that I have actually popped half of the toe nail up and it is sitting on the cuticle!  Flipping gross!  Instead of heading to the pool we spent Hayley's party at the minor emergency center...sucky 8th birthday party!



-Make your life beautiful!!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Trip to Kansas City

A few weeks ago, some of our friends welcomed a fabulous baby girl into the world!   She is super cute...according to her mom, she is not as cute as mom though ;)  {she's kidding, that's how we roll...I've been teaching her parenting through put-downs and sarcasm}  Kind of like these:




Since they are first time parents and we like to rock a hot mess of crazy train when we go anywhere, we opted to stay at a hotel.  It was the new Hampton Inn in Olathe...which I totally recommend.  It had all the requirements I need for a hotel... kick ass continental breakfast, indoor pool, clean room (no roaches in my hair....I'll save that for a later post), plus it was only $89 a night.

We went with the plan to go to the zoo on Saturday.  We drove all the way to the zoo, only to find out that it was free entry for 2 counties.  There were 1 billion people there, that's not an exaggeration.  Then we decided to go to Crown Center.  It was a mall that had a play area, Crayola Store, LegoLand, an Aquarium, some severely over-priced stores, and a cool restaurant called Fritz'.

LegoLand and the Aquarium open later this month....nope we didn't get to see them, maybe next time.

However, the play area was a blast!!

















-make your life beautiful!!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

barn door baby gate

i know, i have been m.i.a for a while....but, i'm back baby!!  i have so much to blog about :)

first, on the block today is our knew barn door baby gate. our stairs are extremely wide, so a baby gate wouldn't fit...it did, however, when placed next to an empty pampers box.  classy, i know.  wish i had pics of that...not.  i know, i just went all 1996 on you with the not.  that's how i roll.

i designed, well more like told mr. tsl what i wanted, and he made it at school.

here were the stairs before:

and after the new barn door baby gate:



total for the barn door baby gate:  $5 for hardware.  the door itself is made of old pallet wood!

 now for a fun little new baby gate story.....

audrey likes to play in the dog food and water.  she use to run to it grab a handful of dog food and immediately throw it into the water before she got in trouble.  for the most part now she leaves it alone, with the exception of when you say wash your hands it's dinner time.  she washes her hands in it and then wipes her wet hands on my pants.  she does this every night.  every night, i say "no...that's so gross," and then wash her hands in the sink.  yes, i could grab her before i say wash your hands, but i am usually finishing up dinner.  plus, it's kind of funny and i have to wash her hands anyway. :)

back to the dog food. harley, our border collie, would jump over the classy pampers box to get to her food when the baby gate/pampers blockade was in place.  mr. tsl put the new gate up which is lower on the baby gate side, but a few inches higher on the pampers part side.

here is a pic to illustrate that:

the first day the barn door baby gate is up, harley decides to eat.  now, i didn't see this happen, but i sure heard it.  harley went to her usual side and attempted to jump over the gate....she did not clear it. not even a little.  which makes me snort laugh even thinking about it!!  anyhow, she then walked back to lay down by the front door very slowly with her head hung in shame, or pain...not sure which.  i opened the baby gate for her and she still didn't feel like going up there.  she just laid in front of the door for a while.

i can only equate her embarrassment/pain to my own.  i have many a time hurt myself and just sat back down.  once, i was attempting to flip off our diving board at my childhood home and took, well for-freakin-ever.  i finally get the balls to flip and smack right onto my back. this was uber embarrassing and extremely painful i just sat in the pool by the ladder for quite a while....this was all caught on tape. awesome.

so harley, i feel your pain, but will continue to laugh when people/pets do stupid things!

-make your life beautiful!!


  SUNDAY:
The Girl Creative ,
The DIY Showoff,
Sisters of the Wild West,
The Tattered Tag,
Flamingo Toes,
Under the Table and Dreaming,
I Heart Nap Time

 MONDAY:
Skip To My Lou
Thrifty Decor Chick
C.R.A.F.T.
Sew Can Do,
Dittle Dattle,
Between Naps On the Porch 
Homemaker on a Dime
Making the World Cuter

TUESDAY:
Tip Junkie,
Type A
A Bowl Full of Lemons
Today's Creative Blog
Funky Polkadot Giraffe 
Strictly Homemade
A Diamond in the Stuff
All Thingz Related
Handmade Tuesday

WEDNESDAY:
Blue Cricket Design
Not Just A Housewife
Someday CraftsHandy Man, Crafty Woman
Sew Much Ado
Organize Your Stuff Now 
Seven Thirty Three
Sugar and Dots 
The Mommy Club  

THURSDAY:
My Repurposed Life
Paisley Passions
House of Hepworths
Beyond The Picket Fence
Inspired by Charm
The Shabby Chic Cottage
Somewhat Simple 

FRIDAY:
Fingerprints on the Fridge
Miss Mustard Seed
Remodelaholic 
Chic on a Shoestring
Shabby Nest
Tidy Mom
Little Lucy Lu
My Simple HomeLife

SATURDAY:
Funky Junk Interiors
Be Different Act Normal 
Tatertots and Jello 
Young and Crafty

Monday, January 16, 2012

when life gives you lemons....

make lemonade, right?!?  what if when you squeeze the lemons the little sting-y bastards get in the little cuts on your hands?  and did life give you sugar and water, because your lemonade is going to suck if it didn't!

i want to add vodka to mine :)

i found these uses for lemons as well...






sorry, i haven't posted in a while....lots of crap has happened.  i have a ton of stuff to post about though.  i have taken on a babysitting job to help with our lack of funds.  she is super little, so i do a lot of new baby holding, patting of the tushie, and feeding her. this leaves little time for projects and blogging.  not to mention all the other crap i've been dealing with.  so, i will try to get back to bliggity blogging when i have time.

this post may be laced with negative nancy-ness (please note: nancy is a lovely name), but don't be fooled i am and always will be a positive patsy!

yesterday, i walked out of the GW (pronounced: Gee-Dub, short for goodwill)  and a stupid lady hit my yukon right in front of me, pulled out and was going to leave.  are you fucking kidding me???  i proceeded to jump in front of her car and made her get out.  that's right bitch, in america we take responsibility for shit we do!  there was like no damage to my car.  a light scuff and a mark on my tire...no biggie.  but, she gets out and tells me she doesn't need this and begins to chew my ass for it.  i was like chicka what?  then i said, "are you fucking kidding me, i can call the cops and they can get involved or you can say sorry like you should have in the first place."  that's all i needed.  really.  but if you are going to chew my ass for hitting me, she is freakin lucky i had my kids with me, because i was in a bitch slap mood.  then she went a parked all f-ed up in another parking space.  what is wrong with people?!?  seriously.

images via pinterest

negative nancy is now leaving the building, positive patsy will be back tomorrow :)
love you all!

-make your life beautiful!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Christmas Questions and Answers


I came across this Christmas survey on Welcome to Heardmont this weekend and I thought I’d fill it out for fun.  Here are 22 things you might not have known about the holidays at The Sunset Lane!
1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
Both!!  It must be Braum's Eggnog and homemade hot chocolate from this recipe.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
He wraps them.   Santa always uses different wrapping paper too! Morgan's first Christmas, Mr. TSL and I didn't wrap the presents until Christmas Eve (I was too lazy/busy to do it before then.)  This started the tradition of all the presents coming from Santa....last year Hayley asked why Mr. TSL and I never got them any gifts, just Santa.  Some of their friends at school get gifts from their parents.  Oops!  This year there will be presents from mom and dad too!
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
I like white lights on our tree.  The lights on the house are colored, but I would prefer them to be white, but the kids love them and that's all that matters!!
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Yes, it's actually an ornament that looks like mistletoe and Hayley always tries to trick Morgan so she can kiss her....Morgan hates it!
5. When do you put your decorations up?
I would have them up in July if left to my own accord.  From Halloween on I beg Mr. TSL to put them up....he is the Christmas nazi and says not until after Thanksgiving. Boo!
6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
I make a kick butt cranberry salad, but my favorite is my mom's stuffing....made in the bird, not the Stovetop crap (I love Stovetop though!)
7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?
Laying under the Christmas Tree with my brothers.  We would lay under there for hours looking at the lights!  I also miss putting all the decorations up with my brother Michael.  Even after I moved out, he would call and have me come to mom's to help him put it all up!!
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I don't remember.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
We did a few times when we were little. But i don't usually wrap the presents until that night, so the only gifts under our tree were what we get in the mail.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
I like a combination of ornaments in a certain color scheme and sentimental ornaments all on the same tree.  Maybe one day we’ll have another tree just for personal ornaments. 
11. Snow! love it or dread it?
LOVE IT!!!  If I had my way, we would move to Colorado and we would have more of it!! I think watching the girls play with their mittens and little pink noses is amazing!!  
12. Can you ice skate?
Nope, I've never been. :(  My little brother and his fabulous wife took the girls last year and they had a blast!  they got back and had the most gigantic bruises on their knees...ended up being stain from the blue ink in their new jeans getting wet :)


13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Mr. TSL got me a huge painting print of Van Goh's Starry night, he hid it behind the piano and I never saw it!  Good thing I don't dust! :) 


14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?
The look on the girls' faces when Christmas morning arrives!
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
All of them!!  
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
We read the girls "The night before Christmas" on Christmas Eve. But, it's a close second to driving around Wichita looking at lights!
17. What tops your tree?
An angel!
18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving?
Absolutely, hands down giving!  
19. Candy canes: yuck or yum?
Eh, their okay.  
20. Favorite christmas movie?                                                                                                     National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation -from the dickie with the sweater to the "Shitter's full" (which we say ALL the time!)


21. Saddest christmas song?
Can't think of one, but the Folger's commercial with the brother and sister kills me!  When my brother was in Afghanistan it made me ball!!


22. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Baby it's cold outside! 
I’m curious to see how you guys would answer these questions.  Do we share any favorite Christmas traditions?  If you play along, leave a link so I can come visit and see your answers!



Thanks Meredith for the Holiday Fun!!

-Make your life beautiful!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The CMA for best new artist....

What me?!?  I'm so surprised!  First, I'd like to thank the Academy.  What? Wrong award?  That's okay, I'd still like to thank them anyway :)  I'd like to thank the fans, I'm just so stunned!  {pointing into the nose bleed seats}  This ones for you guys!  {Thrusting my award in the air}  Thank you Country Music!!







While I am in in lala land, I'll show you what I'd wear!
  






And my hair, I know amazing! Right?!?!


images via my Pinterest Board: I should dress like this!


-Deliriously,

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I made it on to crafting with the stars!!!

This morning I get up and check my email.....and guess what?!?!  I made it on to crafting with the stars @ Sew Dang Cute!!!!
Holy freakin' crap Batman!!


This is where it gets a little embarrassing....  I was so excited I jumped up in the air like a Toyota commercial and broke the boob light cover on our wicked cool fan. Damn.  It hurt my hand.  Now, I am off to Lowe's to get a new boob cover...unless I can think of a DIY before then :)





Then, I was like I totally should have high-fived someone, but Audrey was sleeping still and everyone else was gone!!!!



Am I excited?  Jyes!!

Broken light:



Make your life beautiful!!!