I was going to write, I swear. I was. Apparently being a single mom, working full time, getting your masters degree, and redoing a house is exhausting. Don't let me fool ya, there were plenty of days that I did nothing or was playing with my friends. I could have written. I just didn't have the motivation.
My tired funny is mostly snarky bitchy comments and it's hard to give a shit about a damn blog I started forever ago. Snarky comments, sarcasm, math humor, and swear words are my love languages.
Who reads this shit anyways, right?
Apparently, a few people read it. (I love these people BTW, even if we haven't met). It's funny how you cheer people on from the sidelines. A few people gave a shit how the house turned out, how the kids are, if I shaved my head like Britney in a crazy breakdown, and if I survived divorce.
The house is amazing and probably saved my sanity because I could be creative and didn't have to ask or run any ideas by anyone. You know why? Cause it's my fucking house and I can do whatever I want!!
The kids are spectacular and big. The bigs are in 7th and 8th grade and are beautiful and brilliant and cheerleaders, and take the advanced classes, and they're snarky and funny. I have determined that I will be purchasing a gun and need to learn to shoot as a result of these things. The littles are crazy and so smart too. Our house is always a busy hub right now. Practices, homework, dinner, friends, friends who are now family, more practices, baths (apparently I don't want the stinky kids, eh), love, and laughter. The laughter is good for my soul. I miss them like crazy when they aren't here. We go on adventures on the regular and I try to make as many memories as humanly possible. One day I won't be cool anymore. <----- that's a lie, I'm always gonna be cool. Damnit.
I didn't shave my head, I have seriously contemplated it though. For real. I did read some article about how Julianne Hough got a beach wave perm and decided that was a good idea. Against the advice of my best friend, hairdresser, mother, and the rest of the fucking world....I got a perm. WTF?!? Hello disappointment, my old friend. As a result, my hair is significantly shorter to cut the damage off, go figure. :)
As for the divorce, I survived.
I should post about the bathroom bc that was the first room that I planned to do and the inspiration post was written before this post, but I cleaned the kitchen this morning.... so kitchen for the win.
I kept the original cabinets and just painted them with this magical paint called Pitt-Tech. I will NEVER use another paint on cabinets ever again. This stuff is the shit! Smells fucking awful and will make your brain ache. But it doesn't chip at all. So the brain damage done by the paint fumes was worth it. I got a little drunk last summer and decided to paint the cabinets in my underwear in a two-day span. Not my proudest moment, but it got fucking done and looked 967% better.
This kitchen isn't huge, but I have arranged the layout in here to better fit everything. That floor was fucking dreadful. Original plan: to tile in some beautiful pattern. Saw the price and the floor wasn't level AT ALL. The house is from 1925 and was a church, it's weird. Hence, the reason I liked it so much also it was super cheap. New plan: to choose a good laminate floor that I loved. Plan that actually happened: choose the largest piece of remnant that Menard's has that I didn't mega hate. The cost of stuff is insane btw. A good friend of mine who does flooring came out and did an amazing job laying all the flooring. I came to see it when it was done, I laid on the floor and did laminate angels. He looked at me like I was insane, even though he knows this to be a fact :)
This light. This light. OMG this light. This had to be the light that went in here. I wanted vintage and fabulous and settled for brand new and fabulous. It's from Lowe's. The old man who watched me hump this fucker into the cart told me it was going to put out too much heat, and the cost to run it would be crazy. I told him if I didn't have it, my soul would die and my childrne could eat ramen for mommy to have a pretty light. He also thought I was nuts. He wasn't wrong. It is like a fucking fireplace!! Keeps the kitchen warm in the winter. :) I don't give a rats ass, I love it.
The sliding barn door is made from salvaged bleacher seats from the local school. My ex husband made the door and the track for me. He probably thinks I am crazy too, but he knows when I see a design, it's gonna happen. The rest of this shit is all thrift store finds, which I love bc no one else has it and if it breaks, I paid very little for it. Cheap and unique....sensing a theme?
Amazon, cause it's funny.
The countertop is laminate made to look like soapstone. High design on the cheap. The globes are a collection I had and friends and family added to it. They like my weird.
Target in the cheap area....trying to promote not killing the plants.
Got him at Goodwill, he had a twin...he didn't survive Oliver's need to play with him. The birdcage is from an estate sale. Again, weird, unique, cheap....me.
It's a real plant and it's been alive for like a year and a half now.
Other weird things I have collected or were gifts. That vase was a fun find with a friend while thrift shopping, it's still one of my favorite trips to the thrift store. :)
The plaque is from one of my best friends, the mason jar is full of chinese fortunes...the kids and I keep them all.
My mom paints rocks with the kids, they LOVE it! These may have accidentally been in the garbage disposal also.
Light is from Habitat for Humanity and has a match in the pantry.
Printed a bunch of my instagram pics onto magnets from Sticky9.
Garage Sale in Texas....I love toaster.
Needed a weird radio, I am always singing. Got it off a buy sell trade site on FB. Those are our dirty carnie fish from the fair last summer. They are the only survivors. Hank in the Tank and Princess Elsa of Arondale.
This is the tribe, they got big. Oliver is not amused by his mother or sisters, but he loves us just the same. :)